The Power of Example

Free printable – print it as a 4×6 photo, pick up a magnetic frame, and hang it on your fridge!

“What I do know a lot about is why kids in Christian homes rebel. And although there are other reasons, one of the main reasons has to do with the way the average family goes about living the Christian life.” – Dr. Tim Kimmel

My bible study is having it’s last meeting tomorrow. We’ve read through the book, Am I Messing Up My Kids? by Lysa TerKeurst, the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. The study is amazing, and I highly recommend the book. I have learned so much about how my relationship with God is what will determine my “success” as a mom. Even more so, I’m starting to grasp the fundamental truth that if my motherhood attitude does not absolutely reflect my love for Jesus, there is little hope that my faith will be passed on to my children. If my life does not look different than the world, how can I expect my kids to meet the reality of Jesus? To take hold of Him in their own lives?!

Lysa says that “In the book Why Christian Kids Rebel, Tim Kimmel explains that the number one reason children walk away from the faith is that they never see it make a real difference in the lives of their parents.” Wow. How amazingly convicting. So what do you think? Is our faith making a real difference in our lives? Do we look different than the world? Is Jesus just a part of our lives or IS He our life? Jesus needs to be the center of every single thing we do. We need to read our Bibles, pray in ALL things, relate our everyday events back to Him, and most importantly let our attitudes be a reflection of His life. What would Jesus do? Ask it throughout the day, and when we feel that desire to succumb to the sin inside us, we have to humble ourselves, stop, and ask Jesus to take control of that moment.

Here is an excerpt from Why Christian Kids Rebel:

“Unfortunately, we can experience a safe and successful Christian life without being passionate about the Lord…But our kids, especially our most honest ones, are looking for something more authentic. When it isn’t there, it’s easy for them to be drawn to other options that work against everything we’ve tried to teach them.” – Tim Kimmel

Going to church once a week is not enough. Believing in God is not enough. Even having all the answers – being a Biblical scholar – is not enough. These things do not describe a life of faith or salvation, and they simply will not impact the lives of our children. Take a look at what God’s word says our lives as Christian parents should look like:

Our church sermon a couple weeks ago was about parenting, and we were asked to think of the person who most influenced our walk with Christ. Most of the time, the people who impact us the most are the ones who are walking the walk…people whose actions match their words, whose lives reflect the beliefs they profess. So the question is, who will be the most influential person in our kids lives? Will it be us or the world?

During worship following our sermon, one of the men in our church came forward to bow in praise before His Lord, and shortly after, his teenage son came and sat next to him…put his hand on his dad’s shoulder, and worshiped with him. I wept uncontrollably. This is a family who is doing it right. A dad whose character and actions completely match his words. Because of the consistency in the lives of his parents, this boy has come to know the reality of Jesus in his life. This is the kind of parent I want to be. So that someday, if my kids are asked to recall who most influenced their walk with Christ, they might answer by saying their parents. This is my prayer…for my family, and for yours as well.

Certainly we won’t always get it right, and our words won’t always match our actions. We aren’t perfect, and we will mess up, but when we do, we still have the opportunity to show our kids the reality of Jesus by humbly confessing our mistakes, and asking for their forgiveness.

I’ll end with a quote by Lysa from our book, “I pray for the bad days to be erased and for the great days to be magnified. But most of all I pray that it is the reality of Jesus that becomes the bedrock of their souls.” Amen friends. Amen.

Cuddling each other…these are the moments that make it all worth the while.

Prayer requests? Thoughts? Share them below!

Do They See Jesus In Me?

“Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see the shadows.” ~ Helen Keller

Do these sweet faces see Jesus when they look at me? This week has had its ups and downs. On Wednesday my little one told me “I wish I had a different mom who didn’t discipline me.” She said it not once, but three times throughout the day. Shortly after, Allison cried, “Mom, all I want is a little grace.”

On Friday I took the girls to the zoo…it was wonderful. We had our fair share of pouting, crying and whining, but overall we really enjoyed our time. When we came to the bridge where you can buy food to feed the fish, the girls really wanted to, but I couldn’t find even a penny in my purse. A kind older man overheard us, and handed each of my girls a quarter. They were ecstatic. After he walked away, my sweet Allison said, “Mom, he must know Jesus.” I couldn’t help but wonder if she thinks that about me? Certainly I tell her that I know and love Jesus, but do I SHOW her that I know Him?

When we got home, the girls were bouncing off the walls. Quite literally. Kate was tired, and Allison wanted to “wrestle.” Allison was screaming in excitement and Kate in exhaustion, and after 3 hours at the zoo, I just couldn’t handle all the noise. I gave in to that sin inside of me, and I started right on yelling too…until my little Allison started to cry and asked me ever so sweetly, “Why can’t you just discipline me kindly? Why do you have to yell like a bear?” I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. She is wise beyond her years, and it’s no wonder to me why Jesus said we must be more like children if we ever hope to enter the kingdom of heaven.

And so I sit wondering…how can I go from the realization that I want my girls to undoubtedly know that I KNOW Jesus…to the mama who’s yelling like a bear? It’s that sin in me. It’s that imperfection that I just can’t escape. I cling on to the truth I know so well: that while I can’t escape it, Jesus can! All I have to do is set my eyes on Him, the author and PERFECTER of my faith. So when I feel like giving in to that sin, and letting all that is evil come spewing out of my mouth…I must stop, stand still, and ask God to take control of that moment. For His word says all we have to do is “resist the devil, and he will flee.” He will flee!!!

Now certainly our children try, press, and challenge us more than most anyone else, but this is the stretching of our faith, a beckon for us to draw closer to our Maker. I have never, ever been this close to God, and it is undoubtedly because I just can’t do this mama thing without Him. It is a stretching of my inmost being, and it is only by His grace that I can claim any success at all. So we must see these challenges and trials of motherhood as nothing more than a blessing…a developing of our wisdom and perseverance, so that we may be more complete…in Him. The closer we draw to Him in dependence, the more whole we become.

So what is the application in all of this? How will our kids KNOW that we know Jesus?

• First and foremost, we must devote our time to God…in prayer, in praise and worship, in time deeply studying His word, and by inviting Him in to every moment of our days. My best days begin when I go to bed early, wake up early, and spend time reading my Bible and praying before the kids get up.
• Second, we must intentionally devote time and love to our kids. Hug them, take time to listen to them, play with them, and SMILE. Do you show them you love being a mom?? I love, love this list from Kristen Welch. Some ideas I’m currently working on are: doing individual dates with our kids, having regular scheduled family nights, and creating an overall more loving atmosphere in our home. I want my kids to want to be here. I want them to feel safe and loved here more than anywhere else in this world.
• We must discipline out of love, not anger. God disciplines us, and so we must also discipline our kids. If we don’t discipline our kids now, they are going to have a long road ahead of them as adults. For the best information I’ve read on the most effective and loving discipline, I recommend the book “Have a New Kid by Friday” by Kevin Leman.
• Don’t yell. Get on eye level with your kids. Speak softly, stay calm, think it over, and ask Jesus to fill you. I LOVE this challenge from the mama who calls herself The Orange Rhino.
• Say yes as often as you can, but when you need to say no, stick your ground. Follow through with whatever answer you give, and be on the same team with their Dad!
• Apologize when you mess up, and ask for their forgiveness.
• Pray with them, and for them.
• Study the Bible with them; be their number one teacher!
• Listen to worship music in the car, and during quiet times throughout the day.
• Be part of a church family, and let them see you investing time in your church.
• Look different then the world. Don’t gossip. Don’t try to “fit in.” In every situation, ask yourself, “Does this matter for eternity?”
• Foster (Godly) self-confidence in your kids. Help them find their own voice; don’t speak for them. Let them help you. Give them chores! Encourage them when they do well. Don’t shame them when they mess up. Let them experience natural consequences.
• Lastly, we need to serve others, and we need to serve with our kids. Again, I love this list from Kristen Welch. We need to show our kids what it means to love others…our husbands, families, friends, neighbors, strangers, community, and the world. We must learn to put other’s needs before our own…a hard thing to do in this society that focuses only on our own selfish needs and desires, but crucial if we hope to teach our kids to know Jesus.

This list is certainly not exhaustive, but I think it’s a good start. And let me say that I am nowhere close to succeeding at the majority of these items. These are the things God has convicted me to focus on, because I myself, am indeed failing at most of them.

Praise God for the blessing of a new day in which His mercies are made new. Let’s work together to draw closer to Him today, and show our kids that we truly know Jesus.

Hugs ~ Sara

Have more ideas or suggestions? Prayer requests? Share them!

My Little Rainbows

“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ~ Emily Dickinson

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for so long now. The Gallup Strengths Finder says communication is my greatest strength, which really just means I like to talk (a lot)…but my husband can really only handle so much. So here I am. 😉

My desire is to inspire other Mama’s to do better than I am on this journey called motherhood. Being a mom is the absolute hardest privilege I have ever loved, and some days it is only by God’s grace that we all make it through alive. And yet, coming from a place of such inadequacy, I have such a passion for helping other Mama’s to be their best…to help them learn from my many mistakes, and maybe…hopefully, also from some of the wisdom God gives me along the way.

I’m currently blessed with the privilege of being part of a bible study with an amazing group of moms who inspire me in so many ways. We are reading through a book by Lysa TerKeurst called “Am I Messing Up My Kids?”…a question I can most certainly answer with a yes, but I just prayerfully ask that God will heal all the wounds I cause with my awful sin and failures. After all, He loves my sweet little girls even more than I do, so I trust that He can, and will fill my gaps.

One of the chapters we went over in our group this past week was “What Will My Kids Remember Most?” The reality of this question brings me to my knees. The book talked about “striving to be an old woman with no regrets.” This is my new goal. I want to put every word spoken, and every decision made through this filter: “Will this leave me with regret?” Here is an excerpt from my favorite part of the chapter, which left me weeping for just a little more time:

“Our children are like…rainbows. They burst on the scene of our lives in such a way that you feel as though they’ll be there forever. Their colorful personalities and bright expressions are shining reminders of God’s promises and miracles. They dance through their childhood, making lasting impressions on our hearts, and then the time comes for them to pull away. The colors of childhood swirl and mix and change and fade into the realities of adulthood. It will happen. There will come a day when the door to childhood will open for the last time, and that night, as surely as that child closes her eyes to sleep, the door will close. All the curious questions that drive you crazy today will cease. All the fingerprints and smudges will go away. All the childhood fantasies and dreams will fade. And her mother will wake the next morning to peer into the sky and wonder where the rainbow has gone.”

So now you know the meaning of my blog title “Gone Like Rainbows.” I hope when I find time to post, you might find something encouraging or inspiring to help you enjoy this all too short season of raising our children.

Hugs ~ Sara